¶ManU kampioen

• Goed, Celtic is in de Schotse competitie nog steeds in 'n hevige strijd om de titel gewikkeld met aartsrivaal Rangers, maar voor 't overige is 't dezer dagen voor mijn ploegen huilen met de pet op. Grunn zag 't seizoen vanavond definitief uitgaan als 'n nachtkaars, terwijl Barca bezig is met de afsluiting van de eerste van zeven magere jaren.   Maar gelukkig is er dit seizoen toch nog 'n lichtpuntje: ManU verzekerde zich van z'n zeventiende landstitel. Sar, van harte. En nu nog even de Champions League.

  ¶Happy Mothersday!

  ¶Stem op Dennis!

• Ajax-stagiair and jarige job Dennis Bergkamp heeft 't (evenals Marc Overmars, BTW) geschopt tot de uit 75 spelers bestaande shortlist van beste Arsenal speler aller tijden. The Gunners laten 't aan 't publiek over om te komen tot de absolute nummer een. Ergo: jij en ik kunnen stemmen. En kijk, dat is kat in 't bakkie natuurlijk, want 't mag duidelijk zijn dat dat Dennis Bergkamp moet worden, niet dan?
  Een klein addertje onder 't gras: er moet wel eerst geregistreerd worden. Welnu, dat kan hierrr effe snel. Zodra dat gebeurd is, kan er hierrr worden gestemd.
  Nog steeds niet overtuigd? Filmpje met Dennis Bergkamp's hoogte-punten na 'n klik op

  ¶Silvan is 8!

• Goed, hij is 'n fanatiek Feyenoord-supporter, maar dat kan de beste overkomen. Zelfs Dennis Bergkamp, die vandaag ook al z'n verjaardag viert, was 'n aanhanger van 010 in z'n jonge jaren. Ik bedoel maar. In ieder geval: m'n neefje Silvan, kennelijk 'n linkspoot, viert vandaag z'n achtste verjaardag. Gefeliciteerd, knul!

  ¶De beetle had schuld

• 't Hoge woord is eruit. Na bijna drie weken is de Illinois State Police eindelijk klaar met 't rapport over dit ongeluk, en wat we eigenlijk al wel wisten is nu ook officieel vastgesteld: de Volkswagen Beetle had schuld, en wie schuld heeft moet betalen. Dus.

  ¶De Chantal Janzen sex tape hoax

• Chantal Janzen is 'n lekker wijf dat in d'r paspoort bij beroep actrice heeft staan. Niks bijzonders, zo zijn er honderden in Nederland. La Janzen is (qua acteren dan) 'n beetje net-niet, dus wat krijg je dan? Fans die vinden dat ze 'n beetje extra publiciteit verdiend. Ergo: 'n sex tape op de (web) markt met daarop (zogenaamd, maar niet heus) ons aller Chantal. Enfin, GS 'negeerde' de hoax, maar VKmag kon dit buitenkansje niet aan zich voorbij laten gaan (NSFW).

  ¶Grunn owned Utreg

• Wel, wel. Wie had dat gedacht. Kennelijk zat er dus toch nog wat energie in de Groningse tank, en kunnen we er bij 't (bijna) sluiten van de markt toch nog 'n positief Grunn-postje uitpersen: Jans cs verslaan FC Utrecht met 3-1, onder meer dankzij twee goals van Marcus Berg.
  Grunn schijnt door de zege zowaar nog in de race te zijn voor UEFA Cup-voetbal, al is dat nog 'n lange zit. Eerst 'n dubbele finale tegen NEC, en vervolgens tegen d'een of d'andere CL-wannabe-loser. Enfin, we zullen wel zien. Overschat fenomeen anyways, dat Europees voetbal.

  ¶GSAVV Forward goes the full monty

• Altijd in voor 'n stuntje, ons aller Martin Drent. Zelfs nu-ie trainer is van de Groningse studenten GSAVV Forward. Drent en pupillen waren kennelijk zo blij met 't behalen van de nacompetitie, dat ze besloten om voor de elftalfoto voor de full monty (NSFW) te gaan.
  Geinig hoor, maar waarom is nou uitgerekend Martin Drent een van de weinigen op de plaat die z'n tampeloerus niet wil tonen? Pff.

  ¶Hieperdepiep!

  ¶Myrna Goossen naakt

• Hmm. Zo langzamerhand begin ik te geloven dat er ergens 'n opzetje is gesmeed om voormalige BN PLayboy chicks weer voor 't voetlicht te brengen. Zo hadden we de afgelopen weken al Tatjana Simic en Daphne Deckers, en nu blijkt dus kennelijk Myrna Goossen aan de beurt.
  Dit keer is 't het volslagen onbekende Diva dat claimt Myrna topless te hebben vastgelegd (Diva shoot na de jump). Onzin natuurlijk, en aan ons de schone taak om de zaak weer 'n beetje toonbaar te maken door middel van 't linken van de Playboy shoot van Myrna (NSFW) van geen idee wanneer:

  ¶Hieperdepiep!

  ¶Leuker kunnen ze 't niet maken... Nou, echt wel!

• Leuker kunnen we 't niet maken, beweren ze bij de Nederlandse belastingdienst. Wel makkelijker. Nou, voorlopig verschil ik toch nog maar even met ze van mening. Vooral sinds ik vanochtend vroeg m'n Nederlandse post openmaakte. En of ze 't leuker kunnen maken!   Wat is 't geval? Op 3 april jongstleden blijken ze in Apeldoorn keurig 4700 Euri op m'n Postbank te hebben bijgeschreven. 4700 Euro! Da's dankzij de huidige koers bijna 7000 dollar. Zo maar. Out of the blue.
  Natuurlijk ben ik op me qui vive. Foutje van de bank in mijn voordeel? Zal toch niet. In de omschrijving staan mijn SoFi-nummer, als ook de codes H40, H50, H56 en de verklaring Belastingdienst GVS uitbetaling. Schijnt te maken te hebben met de belastingjaren 2004 en 2005.
  Ah well. Wellicht dat er binnen nu en een week 'n blauwe envelop-plus-verklaring op de mat valt.

  ¶Maxima draagt bril!!!

• Dit moet welhaast 'n verlate 1 april-grap zijn, anders kan ik 't toch echt niet plaatsen: de RVD (lees: de Koningin) die niet wil dat prinses Maxima brildragend op de foto wordt gezet. Kan iemand mij vertellen waarom dat is? Gewraakte foto na 'n klik op

  ¶Claudia Schiffer in Vogue Germany

• Let's make one thing perfectly clear: there's nothing that can beat the real Marilyn Monroe. That being said. It's always cute - and for someone reason it seems to be hip - to see today's hot chicks impersonate MM. Whether it's Nicole Kidman, Hayden Panettiere, Eva Mendes, Scarlett Johansson, or Lindsay Lohan. The last Marilyn Monroe impersonator is no one less than Claudia Schiffer, who had herself shot Marilyn-style in the German edition of Vogue.

  ¶Top 10 Celebrity Talk Show Fights

• Kinda funny. (almost) Half of the top 10 of most famous celebrity talk show fights took place on the set of David Letterman's Late Show. Then again: Geraldo's Flying Chair is still on the number 1 spot. I say: good for him. And his moustache.

  ¶No country for Superbad men

• Big fat doh: some movie mash ups are way funnier than others. That being said. I think the guys from Funny or Die did a pretty awesome job mashing up Superbad and No Country for Old Men. Ergo: No Country for Superbad Men after you click

  ¶The most unflattering Hillary pics

• Day by day more and more people realize that there's a fifty-fifty chance the next president of the world is going to be black. Like this redneck bar owner from Georgia, who caused a riot by coming up with a t-shirt picturing cartoon monkey Curious George as Barack Obama (like Rush Limbaugh did before). A propos. Talking about pictures. Someone out there made an effort to build a very respectable gallery of the most unflattering pictures of Hillary Clinton (geez, call it quits, already).

  ¶Alyssa Milano nude pictures

• Some of you might remember Alyssa Milano from Who's the boss (I do), and some might know her from pictures of her showing off her hairy arms (I do). It's time therefore to rebuild our Alyssa Milano memories for once and for all. Maybe some nude pictures of her (NSFW) will do the trick.

  ¶The Rocker - trailer

• Recognize the kid on the poster above? Right on. Has similarities with The Office's Rainn Wilson, huh? It's the poster for Wilson's upcoming movie The Rocker, which will hit theaters this summer. Wilson is playing a drummer in the flick, as you can see in the trailer after you click

  ¶Carmen Electra in CKM

• I really wouldn't have a clue whatsoever what she's up to these days, Carmen Electra. But it's good to know she's not forgotten yet. Only two weeks ago we found her perfect ass in Maximal, and it's good to know they still remember her in Eastern Europe as well. Which was, BTW, not the first time she appeared in CKM.

  ¶Barack Obama disses the Clintons

• For the love of God, Hillary! How many more hints do you need in order to finally call it quits?! I mean, come on! I'm really fed up with this democrat primary bullshit. Take your loss already.
  And I guess I'm not the only one who's fed up. So is Barack Obama. And that's why he decided to diss both the Clintons in a hilarious comedy jam (mirror) after you click

  ¶Marilyn Monroe in 1946

• Remember 1946? Of course you don't. Neither do I. But lemme tell you, kids. Back in those days there were no such things as boobjobs, liposuction, photoshop or airbrush. So when you saw a photoshoot of Marilyn Monroe on the beach, you could be sure this was all real. Pure nature. What you see is what you get. The real deal. So here goes. Marilyn Monroe on the beach in 1946.

  ¶Family Guy deleted scenes

• As we all know, our favorite cartoon series Family Guy can be pretty raunchy and edgy at times. And sometimes scenes are even too raunchy to end up on the air. But for those (deleted) scenes there's the internet

  ¶Get that Left Lane back!

• I know... Limo drivers are infamous for parking their boats in the left lane. So let this be my contribution to the Left Lane Drivers Unite lobby, since it's time faster drivers take the left lane (formerly known as the fast lane) back. So, order your copy-righted Windshield Decals right here. Happy left lane driving!

  ¶Happy Mothersday!

• Happy Mothersday, ya'll! In order to celebrate this Hallmark holiday with you, you can check out here everything you need to know about your and other moms. And here's a list of the best moms and worst moms in movie history FYE. Enjoy.

  ¶MVP Kobe Bryant vs. Chris Paul

• What should be the creteria to win the NBA's MVP? Simply the best player of the year or maybe the best player of the team with the best record? The NBA usually goes by the latter rule - the one and only reason Kobe Bryant never won the MVP in his rather impressive career. Up until now, that is. Kobe was awarded the 2008 MVP, but the discussions and debates will continue, since loads of fans are saying New Orleans' Chris Paul should have won the award.
  Anyways. You be the judge, after you watched both Kobe Bryant's and Chris Paul's highlight reels , after

  ¶Jay Leno's top 20 headlines

• The fact that I'm a David Letterman fan doesn't mean that I'm a Jay Leno hater. Au contraire, my friend. Leno can be pretty funny. Especially when he does his funny headlines segment. Highlight reel after you click

  ¶Tribute to Jamie-Lynn Sigler

• After a pause that lasted several months, out here at Casa Darch we picked up on our all season Sopranos DVD box once again. Like before we're totally hooked, and how else can we celebrate this by offering you a tribute to Meadow Soprano AKA Jamie-Lynn Sigler. Right here we have her in Maxim magazine, and after the jump there's another Maxim shoot, an FHM shoot and a video reel of Meadow Soprano highlights:

  ¶Anna Nicole Smith biopic lowlights

• Believe me. This is a movie you most certainly wanna miss. The Anna Nicole biopic - most likely one of the worst pieces of cinema that's ever been made. Thing is, however: you're curious of course. And you can't help yourselves. Well, whaddaknow: Rich made for you guys a digestible seven and half minute highlight reel of lowlights of the flick. He even broke the film down by themes (boobs, insecurity & Marilyn Monroe). So here goes , the Anna Nicole biopic in a little over seven minutes:

  ¶Danica Patrick hits crew member

• Only three weeks after she won her first Indy car race in her life (the Twin Ring Motegi) Danica Patrick made headlines again. During Friday's Indy 500 practice in Indianapolis she hit, while driving into the pit, a crew member of another team (Charles Buckman). Although she was not at fault, she burted into tears after the incident. Clip after you click

  ¶Magdalena made her point

• Magdalena Rouco Hernandez (27) was fed up with the hypocrisy of her uncle Cardinal Antonio Maria Rouco Varela of Spain, so she decided to get back at him. And she couldn't think of anything better than to have a nude photoshoot by Interviu magazine. Snapshots of the shoot after

  ¶Whoa! Britney...

• Whoa. Check out this most recent pic of our beloved Britney Spears! It's her and Neil Patrick Harris, and it was taken on the set of How I Met Your Mother (full size pic in color after the jump).
  The Brit-Brit/HIMYM episode (Britney as Abby, trying to get Ted (Josh Radnor) jealous), will air in just three days (May 12).
  Unless something miraculously happens I won't tune in, but I just have to say this: I haven't seen 'r this hot in ages. Keep up the good work, girl.
  [update] Two more hot looking Britney pics added:

  ¶Karate Kid Tim Wiese

• One of the many main reasons Americans won't embrace football (thats soccer you morons) is the fact that there's too many dives on the field. And Germany is, as we all know, the birth place of the dive. But it's certainly not all dives out there. Watch how Bremen goalie Tim Wiese pulls a karate kid move (picture) on a Hamburg striker - and getting away (only a yellow card) with it:

  ¶Biker almost avoids speeding ticket

• Imagine this. You're a Dutch biker, and you're riding in the northern part of your country, where there's not as much traffic as where you live. Ergo: you let your bike go at full blast. All of a
sudden you notice traffic cops on the side of the road, shooting their radar gun while hunting for speeders. Only one thing you can do. Hit the brakes! Oops. There you go. A good ol' face plant while going 137 km p/h. Your bike is smashed but on the upside: your injuries (fractured wrist and a damaged hand) are not that bad and you've got the police radar picture (after the jump, (via)) to remember your adventure forever:

  ¶Blinded by greed?

Sure. It is - of course - possible that they were just caught with nerves, being in a game show on national tv. What seems more realistic, is that this family was blinded by greed. I mean. If you don't even recognize your own daughter/sister:

  ¶The top 10 hottest superhero movie babe topless scenes

• For one reason or the other people same to crave for superhero (movies) these days. As if Superman, Batman and Spider Man weren't enough, there's Iron Man and (to be expected) Hancock and whatnot. On the upside: more superhero movies also means more hot chicks. And more hot chicks means more hot topless movie scenes. So here goes: the 10 hottest superhero movie babe topless scenes ( NSFW), featuring no less than Helen Slater, Selma Blair, Gwyneth Paltrow, Uma Thurman, Kim Basinger, Halle Barry, Catherine Zeta-Jones, and Rebecca Romijn. Enjoy.

  ¶Elisha Cuthbert on the beach

• The other day we thought we had summarized the Elisha Cuthbert pretty thouroughly: she loves to have 'r picture taken, just not when she's on the beach minding 'r own business. Hmm, I guess we were wrong:

  ¶Eva Mendes topless in Vogue Italia

• They tried it before, but that was - of course - nothing more than a lame scam. Thing is: uberbabe Eva Mendes doesn't go all the way just like that. One has to dress up his request a little. Mention words like Italy, art, Europe, Vogue and Steven Meisel, et voila, there you go: Eva Mendes topless in the Italian edition of Vogue (tiny bit NSFW) - for real this time.